No. That’s not what I mean, though they are delicious. I mean it’s Renaissance Faire Tyme! The Artist got really excited when we learned there was a Ren Faire in our new home, and when we got coupons for half-price tickets, we knew we had to go!
In even better luck, two of the Artist’s friends happened to be driving through town on the way home from a baseball game, so they joined us for some of the fun!
Even though the Artist and I have costumes, we neglected to wear them because it was too warm that day. Though when we go back next month, we’ll definitely wear the costumes. That’s half the fun!
Since I knew it would be sunny I wore my trusty sun hat. I swear, those things need to get more in style because they are the greatest things since sliced bread. At least 400% better than sunglasses. Especially when you put sunglasses on top to improve their sun-blocking effect.
The Ren Faire had everything you could possibly want. There was a drunken scoundrel lying on the ground yelling at women, there were fairies, there was mead and there was delicious food! There was even a booth for tomato throwing!
This booth was a lot of fun. Do you see that little sign on the left? It says , “This is an insult game. Do not play if you are easily offended.” And you know what? They were NOT kidding. Standing inside the tomato must be a favorite job for angry teenage boys who like to be offensive, because WOW. The things that came out of their mouths would not be acceptable in polite company. And if you think they’re nice to children, you would be wrong. Two poor girls(probably 5 years old) went to throw tomatoes at the guy and he asked them if they liked Miley Cyrus. They squeeled, and said “Oh my gosh! I LOVE Miley Cyrus!” and he said “Well I just got off the phone with Miley Cyrus, and she HATES YOU, LITTLE GIRL!” And that was the very nicest thing he said. So, no, don’t play that game if you’re easily offended.
One of the more fun games they had there was archery. You got a handful of arrows and a bow, and you just shot at the target. So much fun! But unfortunately, they only had children’s or men’s bows, so by the time I got through all the arrows my arms were tired. That was a real workout, I tell you. But SO MUCH FUN! I am trying to get the Artist to look up some archery classes for us to take, but he wants to wait until he has a job (let’s just pause for a second and congratulate him on his financial responsibility). But, man. So much fun! I’ll have to get some bracers, though. My arms hyper-extend and I got a big bruise on the inside of my elbow from the string hitting it. Or else I’ll have to learn to not straighten my arm all the way when I pull the arrow back.
At the end of the day there was even a joust to the death! Our knight won. Way to go, blonde knight! He killed TWO other knights and a squire. That’s how they do it in the Renaissance. And I got to shake his hand! It was like meeting a celebrity. (Disclosure: They were actors and didn’t really die. I know you were concerned.)
And then, when it was all over, we went to go back to our car. Good thing there were helpful people at the Faire! They were just SO helpful! We saw this sign on our way out.
With S talking about her wedding last week, I wanted to throw in some love for our brother, Ole Redneck (yes, he picked out his own pseudonym). I was the Maid of Honor, so as you might imagine, a lot of last-minute wedding issues were going through me. One major problem had to do with the setup of the ceremony site that took significantly longer than expected. So after the rehearsal dinner, Ole Redneck, Young Redneck (his son), the Artist and I went back to the ceremony site and stayed there until 2 am setting things up. Both rednecks were humongous helps, and without them the wedding would not have gone nearly as smoothly.
Also, see what I mean about sunhats? Ole Redneck knows where it’s at.
Young Redneck was the ringing bearer for the ceremony. He was too old to be the ring bearer, and since I was bringing the ring in we didn’t need him to. So instead, Young Redneck rang a bell to signal the beginning and end of the ceremony. He did a fantastic job.
It’s nearly Ole Redneck’s birthday. Any ideas about what I should get him?